The days following birth are often a collision of mixed emotions- overwhelming love, joy, excitement, anticipation and even fear, can flood a new mom’s mind and heart. We are a walking emotional contradiction, and for good reason, birth is an enormously life changing event.
Here are some of the phrases I’ve found least likely to please a new mom, avoid them!
Are you going to have another baby?
I have heard asked this question hours after a first child had excite of the mother’s body. A woman that has just given birth does not want to think about going through it again immediately. She’s wrapped up in every emotion that has ever been in existence, and wants to be the best mother that she can be to THIS baby. Another baby is not what she wants to think about in these fresh, first moments after giving birth. Asking about her future family plans can wait, and it’s best to focus on the sweet baby she’s just brought into the world.
Breastfeeding is difficult
Breastfeeding might be difficult. If you choose to breastfeed your baby, be prepared for a little bit of work. Not everybody has a smooth ride and it can be anything the soft, bonding vignettes they plaster all over “Breast is Best” pamphlets. The good news is once you’re over the hump it’s pretty maintenance free and you can never forget your baby’s lunch on the counter. If you have an easy time of it, awesome!
My labour was much better / worse
No one likes a “one-upper” and you gain nothing by trying to do so. You can share your story too if you are all talking about birth, but don’t be that person
I Had My Baby “Naturally”
Again, this is one of those comments that is better left not being uttered, even under your breath. Whether a woman had a baby vaginally, via C-section, or through her ear–she doesn’t need to hear that you have done it “naturally.” Unless you are empathizing with a new mom who is suffering the aftermath that comes with vaginal birth or offering helpful tips for recovery, it’s best to just stay mum on the topic of your own experience.
You still look pregnant!
No kidding. After growing a baby for nine months, things don’t just shrink back to normal in a matter of days—it takes time. Meanwhile, mom doesn’t need to be told that even after giving birth, it doesn’t look like much has changed.