Motherhood is a blessing. It comes with its share of pleasures and aches. Being with your baby at home all day long makes you happy. Work life seems like a blurred memory. But, as soon as you realize that your maternity leave is about to end, you start to worry!
No matter how long and hard you’ve thought about your decision to return to work, and how sure you are that it’s the right choice, you need to be prepared for mixed emotions
A Working Mom’s Guide to Breastfeeding
If you’re planning to continue nursing, you’ll need to get the pumping routine down well before your return to work.
Start pumping and freezing the milk a month before you’re due back on the job.You’ll get in the habit of pumping and build up an emergency supply.
Let someone else bottle-feed your baby, use Calma bottles of Medela, they don’t interfere in breastfeeding! If you consider avoiding bottles, you have other options. Your milk could be offered to her in a sippy cup.
Find a private location. If your company doesn’t have a designated lactation room, perhaps there’s an empty office or conference room that you could use to pump. Some women get creative and hang a curtain around the outside of their cubicle when no privacy is available. Be informed about your rights! In general you have the right to return to the same job on the same terms and conditions after your maternity leave.
Start back on a Wednesday or Thursday if you can. The first few days are likely to be the toughest, as you figure out pumping, milk storage and managing daycare. Having a shorter week to start means you’ll soon have the weekend to evaluate how things are going and make adjustments as needed. For Tsarfati, the biggest challenge was realizing how much longer it took to get ready in the morning than in the days when it was just her and her husband.
Breastfeed “on demand” on weekends. If you’ve noticed your milk production flagging during the week at work this is your chance to rebuild it and enjoy the convenience of a more natural nursing relationship. If you are pumping, the milk you stored on Friday will keep just fine in the fridge for baby to have on Monday.
Don’t Be Hard on Yourself!
You never know for sure how you’ll feel during this motherhood transitional challenge. But don’t make any hasty decisions about your future the first week. It’s a very emotional time of transition.
Social media gives us all the opportunity to present our lives in whatever way we choose. You can almost fake your life, or at the very least filter it with a bubble of happy perfection. People generally go to Instagram for stunning photography, drool-worthy images of gourmet food and the occasional picture of their friends’ vacations, even their babies!
I am not a perfect mother. It surprises me when people tell me that this is their first impression of me. Because it is so obvious to me, so deep-seated, that I am not. Nowdays pressure on women is really high: we need to be perfect mothers, specially when Social media is full of “perfect mothers”… What can we do to be perfect? Basically NOTHING because you are already the perfect mother for your baby.
So, let’s make it fun and… What can we do to be imperfect?
1. Question ourselves whether we are doing the right thing.
It’s OK to apologise to our children for making a wrong decision. To show them how to try again. To illustrate how to make choices, to assess right and wrong, to be flexible and change.
To demonstrate how we can make ourselves a better person by exploring and rethinking and starting over… again, and again, and again.
2. Mothers do cry and they are angry (sometimes!)
Because each tear teaches our children how to allow their emotions space to breathe – and how to name their feelings.
Crying isn’t a weakness, it’s an expression of emotion. It clears a path. It brings people together.
3. A messy house is a MUST
It won’t win you any followers on Pinterest or Instagram, but it doesn’t make you a failure.
A messy house might be an illustration of where your priorities lie: a reminder to your children to value family adventures and being outside in nature over time spent ironing, dusting and cleaning.
Mess demonstrates the value of comfort and play over presentation. It creates a home where we accept that being healthy and happy is enough.
4. It is OK to take time for yourself
It can sometimes feel impossible to step away from your family. Because they are everything to you.
They need you, they can’t cope without you, and it’s your duty to be there for them every moment they might need you. The guilt can be overwhelming.
And then there’s the ‘to do’ list that never ends. The worry about what other people will think if you take time out for you. If you let go of all the ‘shoulds’ and rest instead.
Yet deep down, we know that at some point, our children will need to survive without us. There’s a way we can ease them into this: taking time out for ourselves gives them a gentle space to practice.
Even more importantly, when we rest, our children learn that it is OK for them to rest, to replenish, to take time to look after themselves. A vital lesson for a well-lived life. And what more do we want for them than that?
The lessons your imperfections teach your children may be different to the seven I share above. But your lessons will be just as valuable.
We are all imperfect mothers. Imperfection is inevitable. And it is also an opportunity.
We can’t stop being imperfect. But we can control how we react to our imperfections. And how we teach our children to respond to theirs.
Hay iniciativas que son muy buena idea, como por ejemplo esta que nos llega del espacio amigo Cobaby, en el que las mamás y papás de bebés de entre 6 meses a 3 años podrán optar a un espacio en su coworking para poder llevar a cabo de emprendimiento.
El programa #yoEMPRENDOconmiBEBÉ facilitará plazas a PRECIO REDUCIDO en Cobaby, un coworking combinado con un espacio de crianza especialmente pensado para mamás y papás emprendedores, para que puedas avanzar en tu proyecto sin renunciar a ver crecer a tu bebé.
#yoEMPRENDOconmiBEBÉ es un programa propuesto por Cobaby Barcelona y el Ayuntamiento de Barcelona: Cobaby pone a disposición las infraestructuras y el personal capacitado, y el Ayuntamiento de Barcelona colabora en el programa al financiar parte de esas plazas.
Tienes hasta el 8 de diciembre de 2017 para presentar tu solicitud aquí. ¡Bravo por una idea tan maravillosa!
Skin on skin contact is when mother and babies are put together with their skin touching, without clothes or blankets between them. This physical touch it is specially important after birth: contact between the mother and baby since the first second after birth. This early “skin on skin”contact should encourage, even after a c- section, unless medical recommendation.
And it is not only for your baby: feeling for the first time your daughter or son can be one of the most amazing experiences in your life. You may feel overwhelming feelings of love and protectiveness flooding your whole body.
Of course, not all mums feel this straight away. You may be exhausted from a long labour. If that’s the case, holding your baby skin-to-skin will help to nourish loving feelings. Touching and stroking your baby stimulates the release of your body’s natural feel-good chemical, oxytocin.
Skin-to-skin contact takes your baby through a natural pattern of behaviour that midwives and doctors look for in the first hour of life. It starts with that well-known sound of a baby’s first cry. When placed skin-to-skin on her mum’s chest, a newborn baby will then typically follow these stages:
- relaxing and going still while listening to your heartbeat
- opening her eyes and looking at you for the first time
- moving her hands and mouth
- crawling towards your breast
- exploring your breast
- suckling for the first time
Keep cuddling skin-to-skin after you leave the hospital. Your baby will stay warm and comfortable on your chest, and the benefits for bonding, soothing, and breastfeeding will likely continue. If your baby is sleepy, skin-to-skin can help keep your baby interested in nursing. Babies are comforted by skin to skin during procedures. Skin-to-skin may enhance brain development. Fathers and mothers who hold babies skin to skin are thought to have increased confidence and are more relaxed.
What about skin to skin and dads?
This practice is highly recommended for dads. “Paternal skin-to-skin contact has been shown to be safe and effective for temperature regulation and for cardiorespiratory stabilization.” Babies can also benefit from skin-to-skin with adoptive parents, grandparents, siblings and even doctors when necessary.
Skin-to-skin may help if you and your baby are having trouble with breastfeeding, and make it easier for you both. Your baby will instinctively seek out your breasts, and it’s all the easier if she has ready access. She may need to practise as much as you do to get used to breastfeeding.
All the parenting books say the first year with a baby is spent in a haze of sleep deprivation caused by night feedings, teething, ear infections, etc. All the moms you know look also exhausted or not tired at all and sometimes you feel you are doing something wrong… But, what is normal for baby sleep?
It is important to say that every baby is TOTALLY DIFFERENT! Don’t be scare if your baby sleeps more that that or even less…
Some important rules for baby sleep.
IT IS SUPER OK TO CHECK YOUR BABY WHEN HE / SHE IS CRYING. It is not only ok but healthy for your baby (and possibly for you). As you will see in this post an adult sleeping cycle is completely different of a baby sleeping cycle. They will learn how to sleep, but letting a baby cry could be dangerous for the future self-esteem, mental health and even to have a good sleep.
New Born – 2 months: sleeping?
- Newborns have a totally different sleep cycle than adults. Basically they don’t know how to soothe themselves to sleep, they need help, that’s why you can use breastfeeding, rocking, swaddling, cuddling or using a pacifier to help them.
- They sleep in 2- to 4-hour intervals during day and night, waking up to eat.
- Babies this age tend to stir and look restless during sleep. Because of reflexes they can’t control, it’s common to see them twitch their arms and legs, smile and make sucking noises.
2-6 Month Sleep Tips: stretches at night? Not yet!
- Babies at this age they begin to feel different between day and night, and to help them to have a good sleep routine make sure during the day they are expose to sunlight and change the mood at night with much less light and soft games and avoiding over-stimulatin.
- Babies this age may sleep for six-hour stretches at night, and settle into more of a set nap schedule now
- It is a good moment to start a sleep routine, but don’t feel frustrated if you baby doesn’t seem to understand it!
4-6 Month Sleep Tips: not yet!
- The sleep cycle is still really different than an adult sleep cycle. They can start sleeping through the night, but it doesn’t mean 12 hours, but anywhere from 6 to 12 hours stretches.
- Usually all babies wake up during the night, some of them have learn to sleep again getting closer to an adult sleep.
- Some babies stop sleeping through the night now because of separation anxiety. Your baby knows you’re around even when she/she can’t see you, that’s why co-sleeping can be a good idea.
- It’s OK to go in and check on your crying baby, but keep visits short and try (as hard as it is) not to pick her up or feed her. Try rubbing her back, singing a soothing lullaby and ducking out after a few minutes.
1-2 Year Sleep Tips
- Active toddlers can have trouble relaxing and winding down at night — causing bedtime battles. Try to keep things as calm as possible in the evenings, sticking to soothing activities like bath and story time.
- Probably you won’t have stretches nights everyday, but it will start soon!
Cómo calmar al bebé que llora. A menudo buscamos respuestas. A continuación te ofrecemos algunas ideas de qué hacer. La más importante: INTERVENIR LO ANTES POSIBLE. El lloro del bebé es una forma de comunicarse y no atenderle es dejarlo con inseguridad, además que probablemente luego sea mucho más difícil calmarle.
Si el bebé no está enfermo (tiene dolor o congestión, etc), los principales motivos por los cuales un bebé llora son: necesidad de contacto, necesidad de succión, está incómodo (frío, calor, está mojado…), tiene sueño o está aburrido.
No es buena idea probarlo todo rápidamente (mareando el bebé), más vale ir punto a punto, descartando.
Si das el pecho lo primero a probar es darle la teta. Con este simple gesto, se calma varias necesidades a la vez (hambre, contacto, succión, Sleep). Si no das el pecho, piensa, puede que ya tenga hambre, si pruebo de darle el dedo lo succiona? Se calma si lo mezo en mis brazos?
Pero uno de los aspectos más importantes y más difíciles para la madre, es aceptar el hecho of que llore. A veces lo necesitan para evacuar tensiones o expresar su disgusto por algo. Si lo acompañamos, en brazos, probablemente se calme antes de lo que imaginamos.
No quiero acabar este post sin mostraros el vídeo del doctor Robert Hamilton, de la clínica pediátrica “Pacific Ocean Pediatrics” de Santa Mónica en California (Estados Unidos), quien tiene una técnica con la cual es capaz de hacer que la mayoría de los bebés dejen de llorar al instante (habiendo verificado antes que no tenga hambre o esté mojado).
Hamilton demostró la efectividad de su método en el vídeo que hay a continuación, donde se lo ve probándolo con dos bebés bastante nerviosos después de haber sido vacunados. Lo increíble no es sólo que la técnica funcione, sino que además haga efecto en cuestión de segundos.
Babies cry. On planes, in public places, around strangers, often when their parents really wish they wouldn’t. They wail like there’s no tomorrow. It’s how they communicate hunger, pain, fear, a need for sleep, and more. It can be tricky to interpret your child’s cries, especially at first. The most important thing is TO ACT FAST, if not, probably later will be more difficult to calm him/her down and may feel insecurity.
Here are the most common reasons babies cry:
HUNGER: This is probably the first thing you think of when your baby cries. Learning to recognize the signs of hunger will help you start your baby’s feedings before the crying stage. Some signs to watch for in newborns: fussing, smacking of lips, rooting (a newborn reflex that causes babies to turn their head toward your hand when you stroke their cheek), and putting their hands to their mouth.
DISCONFORT: Dirty diaper, too hot or cold… Some babies let you know right away when they need to be changed. Others can tolerate a dirty diaper for quite a while.
NEEDS SLEEP.Unless adults think that babies cansimply go to sleep anytime, anywhere, it’s harder for them than you might think. Instead of nodding off, babies may fuss and cry, especially if they’re overly tired.
WANTS TO BE HELD: Babies need a lot of cuddling. They like to see their parents’ faces, hear their voices, and listen to their heartbeats, and can even detect their unique smell. Crying can be their way of asking to be held close.
Pediatrician Robert Hamilton has an unusual technique for calming babies down, which, according to the above video, works surprisingly fast.
Do you know this video? It was a viral success on Facebook. Promotes HIRUKIDE Familias numerosas de EuskadiAnd although my children have not yet reached adolescence, we've been our crises ... and have much reason !!
It was not so long ago that left a career, a stable job, security of charge a good salary each month to devote to what makes me passionate, be doula. And having the support of my partner and then, my parents gave me the strength to fight and keep fighting hard every day for this. THANK YOU!!
El próximo 13 de octubre empiezan las clases del “Campus for Moms”, lo conoces?
¿A quién va dirigido? Buscan emprendedoras que estén montando negocios vinculados a la tecnología: web, internet, apps y otras y que quieran formarse para lanzarse en ello.
¿Cuál es su contenido? Campus for Moms se divide en ocho sesiones, una cada semana, que abarcan todos los temas a los que se enfrentan las emprendedoras: diseño de producto, finanzas, legal, imagen, marketing, etc. Cada una de ellas se divide a su vez en bloques con pausas para facilitar la atención a los bebés.
¿Quién puede participar? Campus for Moms está orientado en primer lugar a madres con bebés (y padres). Las mujeres -y hombres- sin hijos también pueden participar, pero su inscripción estará supeditada a la existencia de plazas, las cuales son limitadas.
¿Niños de todas las edades? Las clases están pensadas para participar con bebés de entre 0 y 1 año.
¿Cuánto cuesta? Campus for Moms no tiene ningún coste para los participantes. Lo único que se requiere es un compromiso de asistencia a todas las sesiones.
Características: Las salas donde se imparte el curso están pensadas para asistir con bebés de entre 0 y 1 año: tiene colchonetas, un cambiador, moqueta, etc. Y los ponentes son conscientes que las madres deben atender a sus bebés.
¿Dónde se hace? En Madrid. En Impact HUB Madrid, un espacio dedicado a la innovación en el corazón del Barrio de las Letras.
¡Ojalá proliferen iniciativas como ésta!
¡Felicidades a todas las emprendedoras que iniciáis el curso el próximo martes!!
¡¡Qué iniciativa más genial!! El centro comercial “La Vaguada” de Madrid www.enlavaguada.com ha puesto en marcha la Sesión Teta, una iniciativa para que las madres, padres y acompañantes puedan ir al cine con sus bebés todos los martes a las 11:30 horas.
Para ello han adaptado el sonido y la temperatura para que no sean incómodos para los más pequeños. Un detallazo, y es que a veces el volumen es exagerado y uno se congela en según que salas…. Recuerdo un día que fui al cine embarazada de mi hijo y tuve que salir porque el sonido era tan alto que ¡¡el peque se asustó en la barriga!! Pegó un salto que sentí que si hubiera podido habría salido corriendo de allí
Además de adaptar el entorno, se sobreentiende que con peques es imposible mantener la sala en silencio y se puede entrar y salir, y moverse por la sala si es necesario.
Esta iniciativa la ha promovido una enfermera de un centro de salud de la zona que lleva un grupo de lactancia y se puso en contacto con varios cines para plantearles la idea.
Una iniciativa fantástica. ¡Gracias!